Why Did Greenland’s Vikings Eat Their Dogs?
Trump, China, climate change, and why everyone suddenly wants Greenland
It’s 1350 CE, western Greenland. A Norse farmer watches pack ice expand further into the fjord than he’s ever seen. His cattle have shrunk to the size of large dogs from starvation. The vibes are identical to those images of emaciated animals that PETA uses to emotionally manipulate you into donating, except this is just Malthusian reality meeting medieval European hubris in real time. The barley failed again. His children are hungry. Winter is staying longer, killing everything.
Across the fjord, Inuit hunters return in kayaks loaded with seals. Fat, calorically dense seals that will feed families for weeks. The Inuit arrived only two centuries ago, much later than the Vikings, and figured out what should be obvious to anyone: you can’t farm in the Arctic. You hunt. You adapt. You survive.
He turns back to his dying cattle. He will not learn to hunt seals. He will not wear skins. He will not become like them.
His descendants will make this exact same choice for the next hundred years. By 1450 CE, there won’t be a single Norse person left alive in Greenland.
The Inuit are still there.
Now fast-forward to January 2026. Trump just kidnapped Venezuela’s president for AI energy reasons and now wants Greenland “for purposes of national security.” No, not wants. He needs. He’s appointed a special envoy whose only job is making it happen. Denmark is having a meltdown and threatening that this could end NATO. And the 56,000 people actually living in Greenland are watching the richest, most powerful nations on Earth fight over their home like it’s a distressed asset in a bankruptcy auction.
The Greenlanders are posting their flag on social media. The White House posts this to troll everybody:
Here’s what nobody’s asking: Why now? What changed? The US has had Pituffik Space Base there since WWII. The strategic importance isn’t new. So why the sudden urgency? Why January 2026, specifically? why is Trump out here trying to annex NATO allies like a kid who read the Monopoly rules and decided hotels weren’t enough, he needs to own Park Place and the bank?
The answer connects everything: the dead Vikings, the surviving Inuit, and why Greenland just became the most fought-over territory on Earth. It’s the same force that’s been determining value and irrelevance for a thousand years.
