About
Humans have been on this Earth for at least a quarter million years. It is hubris to think that anything we experience today - the trials and tribulations of modern life - is new. As Prior in Angels in America (Tony Kushner’s magnum opus) once said: “It’s something you learn after your second theme party: It’s all been done before.”
From the Peloponnesian War to the Peasants' Revolt, we'll prove that there's nothing new under the sun – except, perhaps, for OnlyFans. Our forebears grappled with the same existential quandaries that plague us today – just with fewer emojis and more dysentery.
Think of this as dialectical materialism for a generation that’s replaced class solidarity with 'moving with intention' and historical understanding with astrology apps. We'll examine everything from how Medieval peasants handled economic collapse to what Ancient Egyptians can teach us about the attention economy (they literally wrote on walls for clout). All while proving that your supposedly unique psychological damage has been in style since before the Bronze Age.
Sure, we've got iPhones and SSRIs now, but the fundamental experience of being a confused primate hasn't changed since we figured out how to walk upright. Your dating app anxiety? The Greeks had a philosophical treatise for that. Worried about societal collapse? The Byzantines had some thoughts.
Consider this your weekly dose of historical perspective, served with a side of misanthropic humor and just enough academic jargon to make you feel superior to your Peloton-obsessed girlies. We'll be your guide through the historical funhouse mirror, showing you how your thoroughly modern problems are actually just vintage human confusion wearing AirPods.
Feel free to subscribe if you too have realized that your carefully curated Instagram aesthetic is just cave paintings for people with student loan debt. Together we'll excavate the collective wisdom of our ancestors, who somehow managed to build civilization without the benefit of mindfulness apps or McKinsey consultants telling them how to optimize their hunter-gatherer workflow. Because at the end of the day, we're all just slightly evolved primates trying to make sense of existence – only now we have to do it while pretending to care about our Spotify Wrapped and whether Mercury is in retrograde.
Welcome to historical analysis for peeps too irony-poisoned for conventional wisdom but unwilling to keep pretending that posting is praxis.
